As Maria says, “The beginning is a very good place to start.”
Fault line? I hear you asking… Are you next going to compare me to a volcano? Nope, but I do like fire.
I did move from Oregon with minor quakes to Colorado with wild fire problems.
I’m a simple gal who likes to get straight to the heart of the matter. No need prancing around it and wasting precious time. When I was a young mother, my favorite section at the library was self-help. Yup, before this wonderful new invention called Kindle. Thanks Bezos for feeding my addiction one quick hit at a time.
Reading self-help book after self-help book…
Do you keep reading books wondering when you won’t have to anymore? When will you ‘arrive’? I know I sure do.
After these books and a couple years of therapy, I began to analyze the stories going through my head. It’s not like we wake up one morning with a set of issues because of something that happened yesterday. No, our issues are low, slow burners until one day someone pours gasoline on it and we freak out. I thought there had to be a better, more efficient way of working on myself rather than reading book after book after bloody book.
One day, in a moment of intense self doubt, I heard this voice, ‘You don’t matter so why bother?’ See, my heart had been whispering this to me so many times, but I wasn’t paying attention. I thought about my childhood and the trauma I had to overcome. I began asking if this was at the core of that story too? Story after story, major event after major event, this question was always at the foundation.
I talked to my husband about his stories. I listened when my friends told me their stories.
Why is it so much easier to see the solution for other people than for yourself? Sorry, I digressed.
One Simple Question…
There is one simple question that your heart whispers to your head when doubt creeps in. That question was developed long before you knew you were broken. Even if you grew up with incredible parents (as my lucky husband did), you don’t get away. Sorry!
It stems from the feeling of not enoughness, but goes much deeper. I call it a fault line because it’s always there, lurking under the surface like a crazy ex-boyfriend. Or, to go back to fire… it’s that camp fire you thought you put out all the way only to wake up to your campsite going up in flames. Once you awaken it, your entire foundation is rocking and the life you built on top is threatening to tumble to the ground.
Ya know that feeling of a light being switched on and now you’re on a rampage except, you don’t understand why you went from 0 – 60 so fast? That feeling. Your kid spills their juice on the floor and you lose your shiznit screaming and yelling while you clean it up. Please tell me I’m not the only lunatic. You may say it’s stress, but why do you have all that stress? Are you taking on too much because you feel the need to atone for something? Do you think you have to give everything because your needs don’t matter?
I could keep asking and asking questions to get to the heart of the issue, that damn fault line. Isn’t that what a good life coach is supposed to do? Once you know that nasty little question that pops up, you can wield your sword of awesomeness and tell it to get lost! You’ll get better and better at recognizing when it creeps up and threatens to shake the life you have built and the person you want to become.