When I hear people say they don’t feel like they are enough or they are suffering from imposter syndrome and that’s why they can’t achieve x y z, I want to grab their sweet faces and sign them up for coaching. That’s just an excuse, the surface level of why you aren’t achieving.
It’s not just some “Oh, Sally. You are good enough, you just have to believe. See all these points about why?” It reminds me of the movie, He’s Not That Into You. The women are sitting around telling their friend how it’s not her fault. Hate to break it to you Sally, it IS all your fault. I’m not going to start bashing, just hang with me here…
When life isn’t serving us the experience we want, it isn’t some greater power looking down on us. The world reflects back to you what you’re putting out. So when your friend tells you the one hundred reasons why you are enough, it won’t change a damn thing.
The only way to truly change, is to figure out the messages that hijack your brain. Sure you can feel not good enough, but that’s merely a symptom of the deeper problem. When your stomach hurts, you don’t just say, “Huh, that’s interesting. Here’s all the reasons it shouldn’t hurt.” NO! You think about what you ate that may have caused it, are you stressed, what activities did you do in the last twenty four hours, etc…
We are so used to burying our emotions as if they don’t matter much in our every day life, well, aside from the occasional volcano eruption. We are taught to say blanket statements like “I don’t feel like I’m enough.” or my cringe worthy least favorite, “I’m suffering from imposter syndrome.” No Becky, you are not. That is just some blanket phrase someone made up that lets you off the hook and gives you an excuse.
No more excuses ladies!
We have to dig deep and figure out why we feel that way. The ‘why’ is vital… unless you just like complaining about life. In that case, we can’t be friends. I will only allow complaining if you are actively doing something about it. You just want to take the easy way out, a relationship with me will frustrate you. I won’t even apologize.
Women always saying, “sorry”… that’s another topic for another day.
If that ugly feeling comes up that says you don’t have what it takes, or who are you anyways, remember it’s fear. It’s that little girl inside of you that is cowering in the corner because she doesn’t understand. She sees herself in a certain way and doesn’t have the skills to think any different. Congratulations! You are now an adult with awesome coping skills and a vocabulary. It’s time to help that little girl feel safe and loved.
Get to the bottom of any feeling by asking ‘why’ a whole bunch. Over and over until a light bulb dings in your head. I can guess you’ll get down to your fault line, then chuckle that that dirty bastard has tried to fool you again. This time you have the skills to go to battle and punch it in the face, to use it as motivation to move forward instead of trudge through the sludge that keeps you stuck.
Soldier on my friend and remember when that phrase ‘not enough’ or ‘imposter syndrome’ comes up, it’s just the first layer and you have to keep digging to figure out the real reason it’s there.